One Year Ago Today!

365 days ago today we got the phone call! We saw our sweet daughter's face for the first time and began the torturous process of waiting to hold her. In many ways it was a slow year- the steps could not go fast enough and we were keenly aware of the days, weeks and months we were missing. But on the other hand I cannot fathom that it has really been an entire year. Every now and then I look at her and think, "Oh yeah, the waiting's over she's actually here now!" I still cannot believe that I can scoop up my wild and wonderful 16 month old anytime I want! Even after four and a half months home the newness hasn't quite worn off.

I remember over the course of the past year getting the pictures in my email inbox (any email from Tami got opened immediately- especially one with attachments!) and searching them for clues to whether she was happy, healthy, sweet, colicky or energetic. It is frustrating sometimes how little a picture tells. I look back at those pictures now and it doesn't even seem like the same child I know. The baby in the pictures is remote and mysterious; the baby I rock in my arms everyday giggles and kisses me before she lays her head on my shoulder. If I don't sing she will say "La, la, la" to try to get me going. I love the look on her face when I pick her up from the babysitter's on tuesday and thursday mornings- simultaneously surprised and thrilled to see me and she throws her arms right up in the air. She has crazy long arms that can reach up to the kitchen counters and squish cupcakes all over or toss water cups on the floor (both have occurred in the past 24 hours). She needs to be in the center of everything (even if it means knocking over a large potted plant to get there- also within the past 24 hours). Yup, she is trouble but in a most wonderful way. The fears we had about whether she would be able to walk, would meet her developmental milestones, would cry all the time or have trouble accepting comfort, have evaporated. I still worry about her- but it's about whether she will fall on her head from the top of the picnic table where she climbed (yup, also today), whether she'll get the croupy cough going around, and a million others. But the shift is noticeable, the worries have little or nothing to do with adoption and are simply about raising my child.